*EDITED/ADDED @ bottom of page*
Recently, my husband & I have been amazed watching people rush to raise their kids.
In fact, lately we have become speechless by some who are judging us for not having the kids in a full-time kindergarten (for Graham) or full-time preschool for the twins. Keeping in mind, Graham is 4 & the twins just turned 2.
My husband, who I don’t talk about enough – is a very laid back person. He rushes when he has too, but for the most part he is so carefree & easy going. I, on the other hand am usually wound up tight, I’m a list crosser-off girl, let’s move on to the next task type of person.
But thankfully, because of my husband, I do not take this approach when raising the kids.
I felt rushed during the first year I had Graham. I felt like I needed to do everything by the book & on a timely basis. Oh the joys & pressures of being a first time mom. I felt that pressure. I felt it & I am sure I passed that tension on to Graham at times. But one day my husband asked me why I was rushing. Why was I in such a hurry? I can remember to this day, saying “I don’t know, because everyone else is doing it this way, I guess.”
And thankfully, my husband said, “Well, we are not going to be everyone else. We have no need to rush.”
I honestly think that day & those simple words of his was a major turning point for me as a Mom.
I am blessed to be a stay at home Mom. Sometimes, I forget that. But looking at these faces everyday, hoping that time will tic slowly by is all I can wish for.
I think society has created a mold for parents. I do not like the mold of racing & rushing. I don’t think we should feel pressured into getting them into sports, potty training at a certain age, or the idea of having them read while they are still toddlers. All of this is important, don’t get me wrong. But what’s the rush?
They need us, just like they need time to learn & grow. The race & rush to get them to the next step before they’ve mastered the first is not right. The pressures we place on ourselves for keeping up with everyone can feel like a mountain load. I don’t want that when looking & playing with them. I want the peace of not rushing, knowing & realizing we have a choice, and we are deciding to break the mold.
I am no expert. I have so much to learn along with them. I feel awkward even sharing my point of view about rushing, because I know there’s so much that I don’t know when it comes to raising kids.
But I do know, I don’t want to rush this time of exploring new things & first things. I don’t want to enroll them in school everyday. Plain & simple until it’s time. There are days when I struggle with a space issue or a moments peace, don’t get me wrong. But the race to get in on a all-American sports team can wait. The “big girl tween” clothes that they put on little girls, no thanks. The rush to get them in the “right” school can wait, until it’s time.
I am so thankful for what the Lord has given me. My beautiful kids, my husband who is the exact opposite of me. He is the calming factor. The choice we have as parents not to rush, but to take in every step along the way is such a privilege. Realizing there is a choice & taking it, is a freedom in itself. One I hope I will never take for granted.
*edited to add: We are not against pre-school, kindergarten whatsoever. In fact, our oldest does attend a pre-school 3 days a week, just to be clear. I am thankful for the preschool & the time he is there to learn & play with others. We have however, made it our choice not to send either 3 full-time to school before they or we as their parents are ready.*
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